Honey
In the spring of 2017, Honey and her month old baby were saved from the truck that was transporting horses to Mexico for slaughter. She was starving and her time was limited. The law states that a mother with a nursing baby can not be shipped across the border for slaughter. There are several ways to get around that law and every one of them makes me sick so I wont go into details. It also states the horse must be standing, not dead, which may have kept Honey from going across the border. The chances of her making the grueling trip, with no food or water, no rest, and packed onto a truck, were minimal. For those the end is on this side of the border and they are used for meat at zoos. But for Honey and her baby, the trip they took went north to Maine, not to a zoo and not to Mexico. They stepped off the trailer in Bridgton Maine :) Here they spent the summer, the baby growing and Honey eating and sleeping and gaining strength. Soon the baby was ready to be weaned and he found a wonderful home approved by the Animal Rescue Unit in Bridgton. Somewhere during Honey's terrifying travels, she had injured her front knee to the point of it being fused. Her entire right side was damaged. Had she been bred to get one more foal out of her before she was thrown away? Or was she injured in the kill pen, protecting her baby? She needed a soft quiet place to call home and Blossom and Flower were the perfect pasture mates.
On Oct. 22, 2017, we brought her home. The ride from Bridgton to Brooksville was an adventure that I never want to repeat. Honey was petrified, understandable because of what she had been through. We didn't tie her in the trailer, simply let her move about with no divider. Her eyes were white with fear and her head was high in the air each time we checked on her. 3/4 of the way home we heard a horrible noise ..... the trailer had a flat tire :( So there we were, on the side of a very very busy road, cars, trucks and motorcycles flying by - absolutely no cell phone service, a 3 legged terrified mare and AAA refusing to help because we had a horse hahahah OK - Long story short, son in law to the rescue... tired changed, sweaty mare no more terrified then before. We continued on our way.
The minute she walked off the trailer, Honey looked like she was home. Her head dropped, her eyes stopped rolling, she stopped quivering.... what a great feeling to be able to give her the home she deserved. We knew she wouldn't live a long life because of what she had lived through, but we were determined to give her the best we had for as long as she wanted. I have never met a sweater mare then Honey. She would stand behind me and just puff in my ear, wanting nothing more then to be near me. Ultimately the farrier was unable to trim her feet adequately because of her injuries. This was the beginning of the end. One evening in the spring of 2018, a little over a year after she was rescued from the hinges of hell, I looked up and saw her in the field, limping more then usual. Honey had re-injured her fused knee, twisting it to the point I knew Honey was ready. Even with her pain, Honey remained calm, standing beside me, waiting for the vet. We ended her pain that evening. She will always be remembered as a brave Mama and a sweet beautiful mare.
Sunny
In December 2017 I got a call from a Western Maine Rescue. A truck had dropped off several horses at her place for adoption, there were two left on the truck that was headed to New Holland PA. New Holland is by far the largest auction on the East Coast. Though it is not a kill-pen, this auction is often times the last stop for trucks to stop and top off their load before heading to a Mexican or Canadian slaughter house. It is known for its crowded and cruel facility, a near death sentence if you are an older, lame mare. It is, at best a confusing scary place for a horse or donkey, at worst, the last chance for survival.
An elderly mare, I was told, with a paint stud by her side, needed to be pulled from a trailer or face New Holland. The paint was adopted by another rescue, the mare was left alone. The day after Christmas, Sunny arrived at our barn. She was a full blown tank. In hand, Sunny was a saint, in the pasture she was a dominating 1200 lbs of mare.
Sunny spent the winter with us, filling in the spaces between her ribs and getting loved on by a wonderful you girl, Makalie. In the spring she was diagnosed with a tumor on her ovary, causing testosterone to create a stud like personality. Somewhere in Sunnys past she was not only loved and trained by someone, she had lived through something traumatic. Her upper jaw had been broken, leaving 3 broken teeth and a crack, she was lame front and back and she had the beginning symptoms of neurological damage. Although Sunny wasn’t rescued directly from a kill-pen, she was rescued from a future of pain and fear. Run wild pretty girl.
September 30 2021
I remember the day i first met you. We were both younger and braver, wild and carefree. Nothing could stop us and nothing did. I would rush home from school and grab a snack, shoving it into me as i grabbed your halter. The last bite of whatever i had usually ended up in your mouth. Most days we didnt have time for a saddle ( in the winter it was warmer and much more cushion then a saddle anyway). We would head out, never really knowing where and it didnt much matter, we were doing what we both wanted to do. There was no training plan, no expectations, only the fading sun ahead of us as we raced to catch the last few hours of daylight. By the time we got back to the barn and i fed you supper, cleaned your stall and tucked you in, the sun was fading. I can remember looking out from the kitchen and thinking "boy i didnt know it was that dark out"
The years went by and i went through the "i dont have time for you tonight " stage. But you waited anyway, waited for me to grab your bridle so we could adventure till dark, waited for me to just hang out, doing my homework and sharing my snack with you. You were always there when i got my heart broken and when i made stupid mistakes, you never judged and you never made me feel guilty for only spending time when i needed you.
More years went by and i started a family. You loved the kids and it gave us all a chance to hang together and make new memories. You taught them to ride, taught them how to lead you and not get stepped on, you nibbled their fingers when they tried to feed you old grass they had picked - pretending to eat it even when you had greener grass at your feet. The time you and I had alone then was far and few between but i cherished those times.
More years have gone by and i spend alot of time making sure you are ok. I know you are getting older but i dont want to think about that. I know you wont live forever but it is too hard to think you wont always be here.
Today i walked into the barn, ready to give you your breakfast and i looked at you, really looked at you. I saw tired, i saw old, I saw the hint of ribs ... how could you be getting this old? how could i not have seen this coming? I dont want to say good bye to you. Why didnt i spend more time with you? As i pat your neck you stick your muzzle in my hand and take a long deep breath.
I dont know why i wrote the above story - i guess i just need to cry Today something happened that made me realize we as a rescue have work to do. We need to open up the conversation of euthanasia - no one wants to think about it before they need to but if you wait, wait until the day - it is overwhelming. To euthanize a horse, its not like a dog. You cant wait until the day they are ready and then take them to the vet. You have to have a hole dug (and thats not easy - if its winter? if its rainy out and the hole is dug too soon? it will fill with water or cave in - do you have to have permits in your town? do you own your land? do you rent? do you have room so your well and your neighbors well doesnt get contaminated? Then theres the vet - when can they come? is it an emergency? then you gotta pay alot ! otherwise you wait till they can come - maybe tomorrow, maybe next week - and theres that hole you have dug - hope it doesnt rain. Then theres the cost - the cost of the hole, the cost of the vet, if you transport to another place theres another cost. The logistics of euthanizing a horse is so overwhelming and if you wait until the horse is ready - well then you have all those emotions on top of everything you have to plan.
We were lucky today to be able to help a family with the logistics. It was time, their pony was ready but they werent. The plans still needed to be made and the emotions of making the decision to say goodbye made planning almost impossible. We really didnt do much but we held their hand, recommended different ideas and guided them to a final conclusion - My hope is that everyone that owns a horse plans ahead, plan for the end now and hope it doesnt happen for years but if you think about your options and plan without the emotions to weigh you down you will be ready when your horse is. Call a hole digger and ask if they can come (even if its not for years you at least know someone to call when the time comes), call your town office and make sure you can legally bury a horse on your property, if you cant contact other avenues - there is a composting company here in Maine. If you may need a trailer, call a friend to see you you will be able to borrow theirs - in an emergency - talk about the hard things before they happen and you will be able to give your horse so much more on the day you need to say goodbye.
Sorry this was such a depressing post but i hope at least one person hears it and starts planning now.
I remember the day i first met you. We were both younger and braver, wild and carefree. Nothing could stop us and nothing did. I would rush home from school and grab a snack, shoving it into me as i grabbed your halter. The last bite of whatever i had usually ended up in your mouth. Most days we didnt have time for a saddle ( in the winter it was warmer and much more cushion then a saddle anyway). We would head out, never really knowing where and it didnt much matter, we were doing what we both wanted to do. There was no training plan, no expectations, only the fading sun ahead of us as we raced to catch the last few hours of daylight. By the time we got back to the barn and i fed you supper, cleaned your stall and tucked you in, the sun was fading. I can remember looking out from the kitchen and thinking "boy i didnt know it was that dark out"
The years went by and i went through the "i dont have time for you tonight " stage. But you waited anyway, waited for me to grab your bridle so we could adventure till dark, waited for me to just hang out, doing my homework and sharing my snack with you. You were always there when i got my heart broken and when i made stupid mistakes, you never judged and you never made me feel guilty for only spending time when i needed you.
More years went by and i started a family. You loved the kids and it gave us all a chance to hang together and make new memories. You taught them to ride, taught them how to lead you and not get stepped on, you nibbled their fingers when they tried to feed you old grass they had picked - pretending to eat it even when you had greener grass at your feet. The time you and I had alone then was far and few between but i cherished those times.
More years have gone by and i spend alot of time making sure you are ok. I know you are getting older but i dont want to think about that. I know you wont live forever but it is too hard to think you wont always be here.
Today i walked into the barn, ready to give you your breakfast and i looked at you, really looked at you. I saw tired, i saw old, I saw the hint of ribs ... how could you be getting this old? how could i not have seen this coming? I dont want to say good bye to you. Why didnt i spend more time with you? As i pat your neck you stick your muzzle in my hand and take a long deep breath.
I dont know why i wrote the above story - i guess i just need to cry Today something happened that made me realize we as a rescue have work to do. We need to open up the conversation of euthanasia - no one wants to think about it before they need to but if you wait, wait until the day - it is overwhelming. To euthanize a horse, its not like a dog. You cant wait until the day they are ready and then take them to the vet. You have to have a hole dug (and thats not easy - if its winter? if its rainy out and the hole is dug too soon? it will fill with water or cave in - do you have to have permits in your town? do you own your land? do you rent? do you have room so your well and your neighbors well doesnt get contaminated? Then theres the vet - when can they come? is it an emergency? then you gotta pay alot ! otherwise you wait till they can come - maybe tomorrow, maybe next week - and theres that hole you have dug - hope it doesnt rain. Then theres the cost - the cost of the hole, the cost of the vet, if you transport to another place theres another cost. The logistics of euthanizing a horse is so overwhelming and if you wait until the horse is ready - well then you have all those emotions on top of everything you have to plan.
We were lucky today to be able to help a family with the logistics. It was time, their pony was ready but they werent. The plans still needed to be made and the emotions of making the decision to say goodbye made planning almost impossible. We really didnt do much but we held their hand, recommended different ideas and guided them to a final conclusion - My hope is that everyone that owns a horse plans ahead, plan for the end now and hope it doesnt happen for years but if you think about your options and plan without the emotions to weigh you down you will be ready when your horse is. Call a hole digger and ask if they can come (even if its not for years you at least know someone to call when the time comes), call your town office and make sure you can legally bury a horse on your property, if you cant contact other avenues - there is a composting company here in Maine. If you may need a trailer, call a friend to see you you will be able to borrow theirs - in an emergency - talk about the hard things before they happen and you will be able to give your horse so much more on the day you need to say goodbye.
Sorry this was such a depressing post but i hope at least one person hears it and starts planning now.